December 2011
46 posts
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good morning, colorado
I started my day with a profusely bleeding nose in the shower. I kind of thought I was dying. Like, washing my face and then I looked at my hands and was like, WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ME/IS THIS HOW IT ENDS!? I think this might also be connected to my finally reading The Hunger Games, choosing to do it in one sitting, and thinking about how awful I’m going to be in apocalypse-like scenarios. I...
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back in co
After a long travel day including an old man yelling at me to MOVE NOW and a woman trying to actually take my luggage out of my hands, I made it back to Denver.
It’s good to be back on the couch.
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christmas tree anxiety
I got home the other night and my mom informed me that they’d had a thunder storm so intense that the tree shook, shifting the tree in the stand and shaking several ornaments off of the branches. Additionally, all of the lights sunk to the bottom of the tree. We went into the living room and it was slanted, so my mom instructed me to try to right the tree. Then the tree fell, and I caught...
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clouds, kindly hold your snow until i say so.
So we’re going to get a snow storm tonight and tomorrow and on any other day in the winter, that is something that I enjoy. But I do not enjoy it on a day when I am supposed to get on a big metal bird and fly across the nation to go see my family. For Christmas. And everyone here is excited because it will be a white Christmas in Denver and I’m not excited. I’m perturbed, even.
...
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Watchafairybizzybee:
This is really the most important part.
Important: yrfriendliz’s Christmas performance, dancing to Robyn’s “Call Your Girlfriend.”
NEVER FORGET
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(also) too much information tuesday
Nothing quite hastens the wind coming out of your sails like vomiting at work.
[I’m sorry I’m not sorry]
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true confession tuesday
I don’t want to like Drake. I really don’t. I feel like, you were on Degrassi and we’re all supposed to forget about that and accept that your kind of bad ass now, and you talk about catching bodies? I mean, it’s not the same, but I feel kind of like if Lisa Turtle started a rap career after Saved by the Bell we might question it.
No, no we wouldn’t actually; that would be awesome.
God, I wish...
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Anonymous asked: The Patriots are going to Hell. The Broncos are God's chosen team. Enjoy it while you can.
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I went to the pats broncos game...
…and I am very pleased with the outcome, because, you know, the Patriots won. I wore my Vince Wilfork jersey, and I wore it proudly.
Gotta say, there is A LOT of fanfare to start Broncos games. People parasailed into the stadium—danger. There were fireworks, pyrotechnics, fighter jets, a woman on a horse, etc. And inexplicably, the halftime show was a man who had three dogs with live...
Anonymous asked: Aww...I'm sorry to hear you're not feeling too well. Just to let you know, your gift will be in the mail tomorrow. I threw in a little something for Briggs as well. Get better!! TB
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'twas december 16th
It’s really hard to focus on work today when I know that we have a gift exchange later (!) and I need to bake the cookies from the dough I made and put together my mom’s recipe for “Mexican PJ’s.” Why are they called that? I don’t know. They are a cream cheese + green chiles + scallions mixture in white flour tortillas, so I don’t know where she got that...
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resistance
I just made a double batch of cookie dough and I didn’t have a single bite of it.
PROUD OF MYSELF.
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cool birks
I wore my Birkenstock clogs circa 2000 to work today, fully intending to change into office-appropriate flats when I got into the building. And then I didn’t.
LIVE DANGEROUSLY.
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Oh hey. I wrote this. →
This is an essay that I wrote and it came out in PANK today. Neato! If you want to listen to it instead of reading it—because who reads, anyway?—that is also an option. Spooky.
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worlds collide
Elizabeth and I were watching the Law & Order SVU season 1 finale, because, why not, and I had just been talking about how much I loved watching old seasons of the show because you see people who you’ve seen in other things. And that’s exciting.
Moments later, Assistant State’s Attorney Rhonda Pearlman from The Wire shows up as a police woman who was showing a body to Benson...
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gargle some salt water, sweetie.
Right now, my throat feels like I swam underwater for an hour or so, and when I came up, decided to eat a pound of sand.
Excuse me, while I go call my mom.
I don’t know what it is, but every time I get sick I call her. She doesn’t have any more answers than I do, and she lives over 2,000 miles away. But you guys, she’s my mom. You know? SHE’S MY MOM.
Clearly, my brain...
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malls give me anxiety
and that’s why I finished my holiday shopping before Thanksgiving.
BUT
Since we’re both sore-throated and working from home, yrfriendliz and I are off to Cherry Creek Shopping Center to go to Anthropologie where we will both likely feel inadequate and spread germs over all of the pretty little things that we can’t afford.
This post got scrooge-y very fast.
That wasn’t...
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uniform
It’s amazing how working from home makes me lose all interest in looking remotely presentable. How could I possibly wear anything other than maroon men’s sweatpants, a lime green hoodie, and a snow hat (indoors)? The thought of brushing my hair or putting on real clothing has not even crossed my mind. Well, until now, and I immediately dismissed it. Because I’m working from home....
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farewell
Today Briggs is getting neutered and I felt really bad about it this morning because I just looked at him and felt so sad, like, he had no idea what was coming. I said, “farewell, little balls,” and gave them a salute. Briggs didn’t react to any of this, which is better really, but I just said, “I’m sorry,” and “this is better for everyone, I...
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yesterday
I went to mass with Ryan’s family—mom and dad, sister and brother-in-law, the 2 nephews and a niece. And all I thought about was how it had been so long since I’d been to a Catholic mass, and how poor the priest’s posture was. I thought about how the last time I’d been in any church was for the funeral of someone great in October. I watched the nephews and niece...
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circles
A married Italian lawyer named Marco added me to his circles on Google+, so that’s cool.
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pirate disease
Listen, I’m not trying to say that I fully understand what it feels like to have scurvy, and I’m not trying to say that I am a pirate. I’m just saying that the way I feel right now is what I imagine the onset of scurvy feels like. Just feeling a bit scurvyish, if you will.
I should probably get some vitamin c in my system today. You know, just in case it’s scurvy.
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It's December 7th
and I’m about to watch Love Actually for the 5th time this month.
I don’t have a problem with Christmas movies and needing to watch them relentlessly until they start to play out in my dreams; you do.
And I will definitely get weepy with the entire Laura Linney story line but I’ll cheer for her even though I know what is happening and I’ll probably even narrate it to...
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corporate world
I work for a global company so sometimes I hear people say things like, “I talked to Japan yesterday,” or “Have you talked to China yet?” or “When are you going to set something up with Belgium?” and I understand what they are saying but all I think of is cartoon Japan with a face and a phone up to his ear, or Belgium patiently waiting in Europe with her planner out, periodically checking her...
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important decisions
This morning Ryan and I discussed that if Briggs ever decides to write his memoirs, it should be called There Will be Butt Wiggling.
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flawed logic; becoming lucille 2
Getting into my car this morning looked like this:
My logic—it will be warmer later today; therefore, I do not need to wear snow boots— did not make the parking lot any less icy.
I should just allow myself to transition into Lucille 2 and stop dancing around this likely—and expected—metamorphosis.
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casual gchats with yrfriendliz
me: hey you know in love actually when liam nielson is doing the titanic thing with his stepson and he's like, do you trust me? like leo?
I feel like there is a metaphor in there about our relationship.
Elizabeth: i dont know who is the liam nielson in our relatioship
and who is the child
we're all liam neeson at some point
also what even is liam neeson's name
me: it's impossible to tell
Elizabeth: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Liam_Neeson
me: but, i just needed to share with you.
we are both liam neeson and the redheaded child
Elizabeth: of courseeeeeeeeee
me: always and forever
Elizabeth: do you own a chambray button down
me: nope
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Happy Nikolaustag!
One of my managers is a German woman and she is really nice, but intimidates the bejeez out of me. Maybe it is her German accent and spiky hairdo. Maybe it is the fact that she pops up out of nowhere, when you least expect it—her office isn’t even in the same wing as my cubicle (where is she coming from?). Maybe it is because I am confident that she doesn’t trust me. Whatever....
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frontierswoman chic
There have simply been too many times in the past few months when I’ve looked at my outfit choice and thought, this is very Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman. And then, who am I kidding, Dr. Quinn was way more fashionable than this; this skirt is really just a blanket. I mean, I wish I looked like Dr. Quinn:
Look at their hair! Talk about a power couple. And look at his fringe-filled embrace! A...
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bedazzlerpants
I am nervous hopeful that my coworkers will begin calling me “The Bedazzler” because of the amount of jokes I’ve made regarding bedazzling things and getting an office bedazzler installed next to the copier.
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writer notes
Maybe it’s because I’ve been writing a lot of nonfiction lately, but there has been something on my mind regarding story-telling. It’s the idea of “personal truth,” and it is different for everyone. Whenever I write short essays and I show them to people that are involved in them, I often get corrected about minor details—a certain person was not present on the beach, actually, they had stayed at...
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In regard to temperature extremes:
dangerousmimes said: A high of 60 in Boston. ¡SIXTY! It’s hard to enjoy it when I’m concerned that WE’RE ALL GOING TO DIE. NB4R. I’m about to strip to my undies and run down Mass Ave yelling “CLIMATE CHANGE IS REEEAAALL!!” And everyone will be like “no shit.”
And I shall call this APOCALYPSE DANCE.
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High of 13 degrees?
And I thought Denver was the Sunshine State.
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definitely dreamed briggs was a tiger last night
and everyone was responding to the photos I posted of him like
OMG look at that tiger!
and
My tiger used to look just like that when he was a cub!
and
Ahhhh, such a cute tiger! Can’t wait to see him!
This is obviously because of the people I’m friends with.
Also, because one time we went to a cat sanctuary and this happened:
Happy CATURDAY
With love, Billy the Baby...
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best pocket discovery
No, it wasn’t 20 American dollars or 10 American dollars or even 1 American dollar and some spare change.
It was this:
If you’re curious, this is written on the back:
And what this is, of course, is a school photograph of yrfriendliz. When her family came to visit, her Nani brought a bunch of pictures of Elizabeth’s youth. Naturally, I decided to take one of them. I chose...
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gullish
I don’t like seagulls. I have been pooped on at the beach by those birds; as a child I had a sandwich stolen from my hand. They stalk you and they squawk too.
But when I see them in Colorado, it makes me miss the ocean. Even in winter, I always stop at the beach when I am back in Massachusetts. I don’t know, maybe just to see that it’s still there. So here, in Colorado, where...
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office food
My cube is adjacent to our department team space where our food is put when we get lunch—today they treated us to pizza because of the roads outside. Sidenote, what is it about free food in the office that makes you go crazy? I have been over-anticipating the arrival of this pizza and I feel actual pains in my stomach because I crave it so deeply.
But the pizza arrived a minute ago, and of...
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commemorating holiday fears, 12/01/2011
It’s December, and it’s snowy and cold in Denver. The good news is, I got to try out those new snow tires, and those things gripped 6th Avenue like my other tires would have only dreamed of gripping. I was passing Jeeps and was like, oh yeah, look out for me in my little Jetta. Look out, SUVs. I got this.
And because it is snowy and cold and December, I’m starting to think about the holidays...